Hope, Insecurity, Trust, Unbelief, Uncategorized, Victory

Un-Bee-Lief

“..and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.”  1 Peter 2:24

In 2001, after purchasing a two-acre lot in Maine, my husband and I decided to walk the property with our two little boys in search of the best place to build. However, during our trek we accidentally disturbed the ground nest of a bee colony.  They quickly swarmed around our children, chasing us off our own land!  That’s exactly what the enemy does.  He gets us to believe that we cannot inhabit the land that God has given us or that it is too difficult and too painful.  He chases us away shouting, “It’s just not worth it!”

Recently, the Lord has asked me to walk another kind of property.  This acreage is emotional and requires the use of my iPhone.  “Siri, remind me at 5:00 P.M. that my husband loves me.” As you know, this is not the typical Siri request.  It is, however, part of a reprogramming strategy to renew my mind; to exterminate the fundamentally flawed belief nested in my heart that “certain” people cannot be trusted.  This belief has grown into a colony of bees causing confusion and pain in my relationships, including Godly ones.  Unfortunately, my husband, Marty, experiences the consequences of this distrust more than anyone.  For example, last week Marty was sitting on the bleachers at a baseball game while I was returning from the restroom. He turned and smiled at me as I approached. Immediately I slowed my pace, trying to discern if his smile was happy or sarcastic.  Without realizing it I created a protective barrier to keep my ego from harm.  Seeing this unfold Marty said, “I’m your husband who loves you, remember?” He told me later that I looked at him suspiciously. All this happened while I was completely unaware!

Of course, as a child of an alcoholic father I learned to tread lightly around my dad.  Even if he was in a good mood, seemed happy and there was no evidence of alcohol consumption, I practiced self defense.  The result was insecurity, fear and loneliness.  Understandably, using emotional martial arts as a Christian created the same result.  This is because, even after Jesus redeemed me and made me a new creation, I decided to continue in unbelief when it came to my own security.  After all, I experienced rejection and pain at the hands of my own father.  Don’t I have the right to make sure it never happens again?  No, I don’t.  Because Jesus died for me in order to free me from the bondage of sin, unbelief in His resurrection power to heal the wounds of my past and bind up my broken heart is not an option.  Did He not say, “It is for freedom sake that I have set you free?”  And yet, I allow the thoughts that foster insecurity to “swarm around me like bees.”

As you can imagine, our boys never wanted to return to our bee-infested property. But we did return.  Marty killed the bees, reclaiming our land, and we built a beautiful home for our family.  In the same way, I am determined to allow God to exterminate the un-bee-lief that keeps me from living on my own spiritual and emotional land which He has already secured.  Indeed, scripture is the ultimate lie exterminator.  On the road to assured victory I will continue to battle insecurity and unbelief with God’s Word, prayer and a little help from Siri.

“They swarmed around me like bees; they blazed against me like a crackling fire.  But I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord.   My enemies did their best to kill me, but the Lord rescued me. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.  Songs of joy and victory are sung in the camp of the godly.  The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things!  The strong right arm of the Lord is raised in triumph.  The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things!  I will not die; instead, I will live to tell what the Lord has done.”

Psalm 118:12-17

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