Anxiety, Control, Faith, Insecurity, Life, Obedience, Patience, Pride, Trust, Worry

Waiting

“Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation;

for you I wait all the day long.”  

Psalm 25:4-5

 

Although waiting is defined as “The act of remaining inactive or stationary it seems it takes more energy to wait upon the Lord than it does to jump ahead of Him and do what we think He wants us to do.  Right now, my husband and I are experiencing a time of waiting and it’s hard. At times I feel like a little kid holding my breath, about to burst with anticipation. It isn’t a matter of doubting God’s goodness or faithfulness but it is a matter of not trusting His timing. As we wait I feel restless and sometimes anxiety rises as I think about the options before us, including all the possible outcomes. I find myself wanting to do something, anything to make me feel like there is progress being made. But, the Bible says to wait upon the Lord. The problem comes when I focus on the next step rather than on the relationship. In all things God draws us to Himself. In waiting He is asking for us to trust His love. He is asking us, as our Heavenly Father, to believe His plans are for our good.

However, right now I feel like I’m warming a bench at a bus stop. I’m not sure of the bus schedule but know it will come eventually because my father told me it would. But it’s been awhile and I’m starting to wonder if I heard correctly, so I call Him.

“Hey, Dad, it’s me.”

“Hi sweetie! How are you?”

“I’m ok. Just sitting here waiting for the bus. It’s been twenty minutes. I was just wondering if I’m at the right stop.”

“Are you where I sent you?”

“Yessss!”

“Then you’re at the right stop. Is there anything else? You seem stressed.”

“No. I just think it’s taking too long. I was thinking of walking.”

“Just wait there. I’ll talk with you until the bus comes.”

“Ok. I’m kind of anxious about the trip anyway. I’ve never been there before. How do I know I’ll like it?”

“I understand. Doing something new is hard, but I wouldn’t send you someplace that wasn’t going to be good for you. And you can talk to me anytime. Just trust me.”

“I do. It’s just I don’t always feel good about it.”

“Just remember I love you. That’s it. I love you.”

“Okay Dad. I know. I love you too.”

Do you believe God is there, talking to you in the waiting? Many times, instead of talking to God I look for the next step. Something to “do” instead of spending time with Him in intimate conversation. Of course, sometimes it’s hard discerning between the vision and the timing. Like Abraham, God showed us a picture of what would glorify Him–what He wanted us to do by faith, and yet we do not have the green light. Instead of peacefully waiting on the bench God has provided, I feel like walking or hitch-hiking or maybe taking a scooter. I want to be set free to do what I want (for God of course) without any restraints. But God is not incompetent, nor does He procrastinate. The waiting period is a time of molding and testing and a time to cultivate intimacy with Him. Just like a wild horse is mastered in the coral, God pens us in for the refining process, keeping us close to Him as he works out the willful pride and self-reliance that I am so easily bent toward. I don’t like it–AT ALL! But, because of His love, I am willing.

“For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”

Habakkuk 2:3.

Control, Faith, Insecurity, Life, Obedience, Overwhelmed, Perseverance, Rebellion, Repentance, Trust

Soda Can Heels

“I will walk in freedom,
    for I have devoted myself to your commandments.”

Psalm 119:45 NLV

When I was a little girl living in Okinawa on Kadena Air Base, my sister and I would slip soda cans onto our heels and walk, clinking and clanking, down the hill. Pretending to be “grown-up” we endured hot asphalt on our toes, just so we could know the boost of adulthood.  We also felt free, even while the pinch of sharp aluminum pressed against our heels. Though we had fun pretending to be autonomous at the time, now I know that freedom is a powerful motivator, especially when it concerns parting from oppression.

Of course, war is proof of this.  As a child I was unaware of history and could not comprehend the horrors the Okinawan people witnessed during the occupation period, nor did I understand their fear of being pushed into the Vietnam War.  During one trip to the fish market we had to bring our German Shepherd, Bo, for protection. And, like fish in a bowl looking out on the world, we drove through a crowd of anti-war/anti-American protestors in our station wagon. They yelled; Bo barked; I stared. Hate and fear stared back. On the other side of their experience, I could not appreciate how they felt. They wanted their independence—their soda-can heels—so they could feel safe from China. But, what they needed was a freedom that only comes through surrender.  They needed God.

This reminds me that I need God too.  My freedom doesn’t come from something I do (like squish soda cans on my heels) but from who I am. Anger and protest will not bring me peace and no dog can protect me from the world. It is Christ’s blood on the doorpost of my heart and His Word applied by the Spirit that causes me to walk in freedom. That brings me to a confession.  Lately, as we are in a time of transition, I have found myself neglecting the fact that I need God. The time spent with the Lord has been microscopic compared to my “normal” and I have paid a steep price. Ironically, studying for Christian Ministry has been one of the main distractions along with moving, travel, serving and working out. Forgetting that blood was shed for my freedom, I have neglected God’s Word. Now, instead of walking in freedom I find myself taken by apathy and anxiety, fearful of the future and reaching for my soda cans.

Fortunately, God has a way of reminding me of the basics. “I will walk in freedom for I have devoted myself to your commandments” (Psalm 119:45, NLV). In other words, I will live a life free from spiritual oppression because I have spent time with the Lord and have been in His Word. Recently, Charles Stanley set me straight by challenging me (through the radio) to confess and repent the sin of neglect. He talked about how easy it is to drift away from God right into a prison of hard-heartedness and confusion. In a way I felt like that little girl in the back of the station wagon looking out on the ugly world as I clung to my dog who was not entirely safe at the time.

Oh, how I love our Father who speaks so tenderly to us, even when we run off. Perhaps He is not so safe either. He may still ask us to go to the fish market during war-time in a hostile setting.  But we will never be alone.  From now on leave your soda cans at home and walk with Him.

“My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 4:20-23 (NIV)

Control, Faith, grace, Hope, Humility, Life, Submission, Surrender

Boxing Out

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

Boxing God out has been a common occurrence throughout my Christian walk.  Viewing Him as an opponent, with elbows out and my backside pushing against Him, I try desperately to keep him from getting the ball.  This is what happened on a Southwest flight in the summer of 2017 when my husband and I were sitting together in the aisle and middle seats.  Knowing the flight was not full I laid my jacket on the window seat next to me hoping no one would sit there.  (Yes, I did that.)  “Why is your jacket on the seat?” My husband asked, noticing the subliminal “Do not sit here” message I was sending.

“I really don’t want anyone sitting next to me so I put my jacket there hoping they wouldn’t ask.”

He replied, gently, “Uh, you should take that off the seat.”

So, while grudgingly removing my coat and sliding it under the seat in front of me, a young lady stopped and asked, “Is that seat taken?”

“No.” I whispered, letting her slide by.

Plopping in the seat next to me she promptly put her earphones in so she could listen to her music.  As she did my husband noticed the album cover on her phone.  “I love that band,” he said smiling.

Looking over at her phone I saw she was playing Christian music.  From that moment on Avie and I were flight friends.  In fact, we didn’t stop talking until we got off the plane.  As it turns out she was going into her Senior year of high school and in a dilemma regarding College.  She didn’t know if she should go to college or, if she did, where to attend or how she would pay for it.  Her parents were divorced and focused on their new families and spouses with little to offer for advice or money for education.   Avie had a heart for missions so I told her about Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and other options she hadn’t thought about.  At the end of our time together she said, “Thank you so much for talking with me.  I really needed to hear from someone other than my parents or my guidance counselor.”

Wow!  I almost missed it.  My comfort was the only thing I considered at the time and, in my narrow mindedness, forgot that God is so BIG that He could orchestrate a conversation to give a high school girl hope for her future.  He loves that much.  All I can think about at this moment is the waterfall of grace He has for His children.  Instead of calling “foul” He rolled around me and stole the ball.  I realize we are on the same team and all is forgiven, however, this encounter gives me pause for the future.  I resolve not to knowingly box Him out again and asked God to make Avie an Ebenezer stone for me; a reminder that God works in subtle, loving ways, running the plays of life through His children.

Lord, please give me a heart for those you wish to lavish with your love through this earthen vessel of mine.  Help me to remember.  I long to be compelled by your love and to live for Christ and not myself, keeping the Passion at the forefront of my mind.

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
    He delights in every detail of their lives.”  Psalm 37:23

Covenant, Faith, Gospel, Hope, Life, Love, Uncategorized

True Love, True Life

Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.”  John 14:6

All physical life is completely dependent on the sun.  That may seem intuitive but when I heard this statement recently I was struck by the physical parallel of a profound spiritual truth.  All spiritual life is completely dependent on the SON!  Even with its exclusivity, I have never heard anyone complain about the way life is sustained.  It is narrow, no doubt, but everyone seems to agree that without the sun we are all doomed.   However, many argue against the reality of Jesus, the Son of God, being the only Way to eternal life with the Father.  Colossians 1:15-17 says, He (Jesus) is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”  So, it is the Son of God who holds all things together physically, even the sun we so desperately need.  However, everything and everyone eventually dies.

Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6).  

But, how do we know that it’s true?  The answer is simple. When you accept by faith that Jesus died for you personally to pay the penalty for your sins that keep you apart from God because He is holy, and enter into a relationship with Him, then you are cleansed from all unrighteousness (literally in Christ or covered by Christ’s righteousness) so God no longer counts your sin against you because the debt has been paid by God Himself in the flesh (Jesus).  Because He loved the world so much He made a way for us to be reconciled with Him (John 3:16).  When we believe this by faith (accept the gift) we enter into spiritual life (born again) and are a new creation, completely forgiven and sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit.  This conversion from death to life is palpable and you will experience God in the same way a lifeless seed, when planted in fertile soil, watered, and exposed to the sun bursts forth into new life.  You will know by experience!

How I pray everyone who does not know God personally would realize that they are spiritually dead, like a seed, and would accept the gift of life from Jesus, the Light of the world, the living Water, the Son of God!

And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.  He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life.  These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life.” 1 John 5:11-13 

If you would like to know more please check out the links below.

https://billygraham.org/answer/you-can-know-god-personally-as-he-comes-to-live-within-you-by-his-spirit/

https://www.cru.org/how-to-know-god/would-you-like-to-know-god-personally.html

Gospel, Grief, Hope, Life, Overwhelmed, Trust, Uncategorized, Victory

O Death!

“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55

My friend is hurting.  The sudden loss of her beloved husband of twenty-five years on May 5th, 2017 to complication from brain cancer has left a void that can only be filled by God’s grace. She and her five children are grieving his absence but know He is in the arms of Jesus.

I cannot stop the tears as I grieve with my friend and sister in Christ. We were roommates before we both got married. She made my wedding veil but now the veil of physical death separates her and her husband, David. Yet, she is not alone. She too is in the arms of Jesus.

There are no words of this world that bring comfort to those who are separated from people they love. The covenant words “till death do us part” ring in our minds because it happens…to other people. Standing at the altar we don’t believe we will be separated by death, at least not at fifty and not while raising children. But our gracious God knows the number of our days and the days of those we love.

Praise our victorious God that He has conquered sin and death!  Before it is too late, share Christ’s eternal love and plan of redemption with those God has placed in your life.

“May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in Him so you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

I love you Julie.

Covenant, Idolatry, Life, Reverence, Uncategorized

Due Reverence

“A son honors his father and a servant his master.  Then if I am a father, where is My honor?  And if I am a master, where is My respect?  says the LORD of hosts to you, O priests who despise my name.  But you say, ‘How have we despised Your name?'”  Malachi 1:6

Reverence is akin to “The fear of the Lord ” which Tim Keller likens to the feeling you get in the company of someone you greatly admire, perhaps even someone famous.  In their presence you are respectful, careful about what you say, give deference to them and want to please them as you’re able.  There is, in fact, a sense of awe.  Reverence means honor or respect that is felt or shown to someone or something. If anyone deserves to be honored or respected it’s God.  But, in Malachi’s day God was dishonored and disrespected by the very priests who were to exemplify reverence for the LORD.  They defiled His name by offering blemished animals, divorced their wives and married foreign women who worshipped other gods, robbed the Lord by not tithing and believed God was unloving and unjust.

The priest’s apathetic hearts were in stark contrast to Levi’s, their reverent ancestor. Malachi 2 tells us that God made a covenant with Levi “of life and peace as an object of reverence.”

“My covenant with him [Levi] was one of life and peace, and I gave them to him as an object of reverence; so he revered Me and stood in awe of My name. True instruction was in his mouth and unrighteousness was not found on his lips; he walked with Me in peace and uprightness, and he turned many back from iniquity. For the lips of a priest should preserve knowledge, and men should seek instruction from his mouth; for he is the messenger of the LORD of hosts. But as for you, you have turned aside from the way; you have caused many to stumble by the instruction; you have corrupted the covenant of Levi,” says the LORD of hosts. Malachi 2:5-8

As New Testament believers we are also God’s messengers and priests (1 Peter 2:5-9).   Nevertheless, like the priests of old, we have a tendency toward irreverence if we don’t take time to know God in a way that provokes esteem.    A good illustration of this is and encounter my husband, Marty, and I had with a famous football player while on vacation at Disney World.  Marty recognized the former Dallas Cowboy in the waiting area of Mickey’s PhilharMagic.

“That’s Daryl Johnston,” he whispered, referring to a tall man across the room.

“Who?” I asked, looking up only to see a dad with his family.

“The ‘Moose’, Daryl Johnston.  The football player.”

“Oh. nice.” I said, unimpressed.

To me the man was just another dad in the crowd.  Were we seeing the same person?  Yes!  However, the difference was Marty’s familiarity with Johnston.  My husband was impressed with the athlete in our midst because he knew who Daryl Johnston was and what he had accomplished. He was impressive.  I, on the other hand, knew nothing about the “Moose” therefore, seeing him did not provoke admiration.  Similarly, to know God inspires reverence.  When we read God’s word and spend time meditating on His attributes we begin to know God.  Then, we are compelled to say, “That is the LORD!”

Unfortunately, the Israelites in Malachi’s time suffered from a case of severe apathy toward God.  They judged God based on their limited knowledge instead of by His “stats” revealed in His Word.  In other words, He was “just another dad.”  But, Malachi’s wake up call to Israel is haunting.  It indicts my own heart when God asks, “Where is My honor?”  Am I apathetic and irreverent too?   Does my behavior reflect unbelief?   I may not be divorcing my spouse and worshiping idols but I certainly have not been bringing my first fruits to my LORD in regards to time.  Oh, my LORD and my Redeemer!  Thank you for your mercy and everlasting covenant of life and peace.  May I never forsake the reading of your Word lest I defile Your Holy name!

“Then those who feared the Lord spoke with each other, and the Lord listened to what they said. In his presence, a scroll of remembrance was written to record the names of those who feared him and always thought about the honor of his name.”  Malachi 3:16

Life, Rest, Sanctification, Submission, Uncategorized

Rise Up

“From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the LORD is to be praised.” Psalm 113:3

My son says I am the queen of metaphors.  So, imagine my delight when I woke up this morning to the colors of the rainbow smeared across the sky.  This stunning scene got me thinking about the sun.  It sets and rises simultaneously every second of every day somewhere in the world while constantly bursting forth life giving light.  We can see the sun’s beauty revealed as it sets and find joy in the warmth of its rays, especially after a cold day or a long winter.  More importantly, we enjoy life through the sun. It is essential for our very existence.  In other words, the earth, bound by the glory of the sun, would have no life without it.

(Metaphor alert) As Christians we too are sustained by The Son.  Luke 22:70 says, “‘Are You the Son of God?’ and Jesus said to them, ‘Yes, I AM.'”  Also, Hebrews 1:3 says, “The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.”  Jesus, therefore, is the giver of life and, as we “spin” on our fleshly axis bound by this world and our physical bodies, the Son rises within us everyday.  Jesus also referred to Himself as The Life (John 14:6), The Light of the world (John 8:12), The Giver of Living Water (John 4:10) and The Bread of life (John 6:35;48) which are all forms of vital sustenance.  Therefore, what determines good fruit like joy, love and hope is purposefully soaking up The Light so He can shine through our brokenness.

Unfortunately, the last few days I have been scattered, anxious, distracted and overwhelmed because of the lack of time I have to complete my to-do list.  This myopic focus stole my joy and, quite frankly, made me unpleasant to be around.  I found myself stuck in a dark cave of self-imposed “to-do’s,” unable to see the distant future or focus on God, Who is the Light of the world AND The Giver of life.  Instead, I determined to master something I had absolutely no control over and fell into a well of hopelessness.  I needed a Son-bathing session which God graciously gave me this morning.  He gently “set my mind on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:2) re-calibrating my mind to His as He warmed my cold heart with the light of His Word.  After realizing this “light” deficiency in my spirit the following list of questions was birthed:

  • Am I allowing the clouds of hopelessness to be blown aside by the Holy Spirit who fills me with the hope of the glory of God that does not disappoint, today? (Romans 5:2-5)
  • Did I soak in the loving, healing rays of my LORD, Jesus, today?  (Psalm 147:3)
  • Has my spiritual skin been changed by His Word to the point where I literally glow for Christ, today?  (Matthew 5:14-16)

My hope is that these questions will help you experience the amazing hues of God’s love for you on a daily basis.  So, the next time you see a gorgeous sunrise let it remind you that we are not bound by this world.  Rather, the life we have is in the eternal, powerful, magnificent, RISEN, Son of God!

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.  For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

Colossians 3:1-4